Boulder Shoulders

I love training shoulders, was a little tired today but I think I still hit them pretty good. Not sure why but half way thru workout I was feeling a bit sick to my stomach... feel ok now so not sure what that was all about.

Heading to Rockford IL tomorrow. If he needs help with manning the booth for DVD sales I will help George. He does the video for Kevin Noble's BBing shows... and he does an excellent job. How cool is it as a competitor to order a DVD and be able to have your posing routine up on the web within 48 hrs of the show? As a competitor I can tell you its fucking GREAT! You want to share that with so many that can't make the show itself and to be able to direct them to George's website, www.pradelproductions.com and see your evening routine within days.. it rocks...
previously you'd have to wait WEEKS to get the DVD's/Video in the mail...

So onto today's shoulder workout...

Cable Side Lateral Raise

1/15 @ 10 x 3 sets

DB Shoulder Press

1/10 @ 35
1/10 @ 40
1/10 @ 40

DB Side Lat Raise

1/12 @ 20 x 3 Sets

Bentover DB Rear Lat Raise

1/10 @ 25
1/12 @ 20
1/12 @ 20

then finally the smith machine hogs moved on

Smith Machine Military Press

1/10 @ 50 x 3 sets (normally I can hit it with 70lbs but I had to put it at the end and I was getting tired)

then 60 min on step mill, 158 floors/3.28 miles climbed... as usual I work calves on this machine by taking the steps on my tip toes and varying the placement, in, out middle - I have weird calves, they are long so I have to hit them at various angles to get any developement out of them....

Spit............don't swallow

:o) yes get your mind outta the gutter, I'm not talking bout that... if it was that swallowing would be fine, its pure protein baby...

Nope talking about a fucking mental battle I've had all day, hell all week...

following a ketogenic diet, all in all, its fine, but this week my head has not been in the game... its just been this mental funk since I've returned from Florida and this weather we've had since my return is NOT helping any at all with my mindset.

So today I walk into the break room to fill up my water bottle, I'm hungry, and there are cookies, cake, brownies and the like.. OMG I wanted it and wanted it bad...but I kept saying, out loud, NO NO NO! You have photo shoots coming up in June, a competition in Sept and you want to be your best ever..

so like a spoiled child who did not get there way I sulked back to my desk, got my packet of hickory smoked tuna and while everyone around me is sucking down tasty, sugary carbs.. I am eating tuna at NINE O FUCKING A.M.

I will say once I had something in my tummy I felt a little stronger against the cookies and such... well till lunch time.....

I ordered a salad from our cafeteria, romaine and spinach, no cheese, no croutons, extra chicken, oil and vinegar on the side...I asked them please don't send the apple or roll with it... but it did not arrive that way...

It was like someone else just took over my body and mind for a second... I took a bite of the roll and OMG it was almost like good sex... but then, before swallowing I realized WTF are you doing... and before I could think again.. I ran to the trash can and spit it out, threw the rest away, gave away the apple, and sat down to devour my greens and chicken.

I realize this is the path I've chosen and 99% of the time.. I am truly ok with it, but this week has just been a battle of wills for me... So far I'm winning but I fear if sunshine don't appear soon to perk up my mood I'm gonna kill something or someone.

Maybe a incognito sexual escape would help too... but who am I kidding I'm to picky to just fuck anyone - looks like jack rabbit to the rescue, least till June ;o)

3:45am... I must be nuts...

Today was an arm assault. I really almost contemplated crawling back into bed when my alarm went off... but I got up and pee'd and thought to myself you know you will be pissed later if you don't go now. So up and atom and at the gym at 3:45am..

Not nuts really just determined to come into this competition MY best ever! Hell I think I look better now then when I competed in 06 so I am on the right track at the very least... and with 128ish days left in prep I will achieve the goal I set for myself.

Rope Pushdowns

1/12 @ 50
1/12 @ 60
1/12 @ 60

Decline Skull Crushers

1/10 @ 60 x 3 sets

Bench Dips

1/15 @ bodyweight + 75 pounds in my lap x 3 sets

Single Arm Reverse Grip Pushdowns

1/15 @ 15
1/15 @ 15
1/15 @ 17.5 (15 to light, 20 to heavy)

Barbell Curls

1/8 @ 65
1/10 @ 65
1/9 @ 70

1 Arm Preacher Curls

1/8 @ 25
1/10 @ 20
1/10 @ 20

Hammer Curls

1/10 @ 30 x 3 sets

needed to do some calf and ab work so I did a lot of standing calf raises between sets. And lots of ab work at the end of the workout... then some stretching... so it means cardio of some sort tonight.

I really hate cardio...it sucks big balls... maybe I'll get lucky and this rain will stop and I can do some cardio outdoors...

Easter Sunday workout..

The meat market...

Well I really hate when I don't get to bed on time, don't take my ambien in time and it means going to gym at night... it SUCKS. I did get there a tad early.... I had dental appt this afternoon and while I really should have went back to work after I said screw it and hit the gym for some back work....

Lat Pulldowns

1/12 @ 100
1/12 @ 120
1/10 @ 120 drop to 100 for 5 more

DeadLifts

1/8 @ 115
1/8 @ 185
1/8 @ 185
1/3 @ 215

TBar Row

1/10 @ 70
1/10 @ 80
1/10 @ 80

1 Arm DB row

1/10 @ 50
1/10 @ 50
1/10 @ 55

Cable Row

1/10 @ 100
1/10 @ 120
1/10 @ 120

Then cardio on elliptical for an hour... sigh...

while I do hate the meat market atmosphere of the gym in the evening, sometimes it can be a boost... its funny when, as a chick, you are adding 45 pound plates on the bar for deadlifts... its almost like you can just feel the eyes upon you as they all STOP to see if this bitch can actually pull that weight off the floor.........

yes boys... she damn sure can... no straps, no belt, just sheer raw female power...(insert Tim the tool man Taylor laugh)

Sleep.... Shoes and cardio...

Slept in today.. well actually my alarm went off at 3:40am but since I didn't take my sleep meds till like 9pm, my ass was not moving at 3:40.... so... sadly it means gym time during meat market hours. SIGH!

I took my cardio outside yesterday, I just could not stomach an hour of cardio indoors yesterday... did a run/walk... sadly wore the wrong shoes and my ankles are feeling it today... note to self, pink/gray running shoes are now gym shoes only.

Today will be back and some more cardio... sometimes being a female sucks big balls... I mean guys don't have to do half as much cardio as we ladies do and fuck that it ain't fair... I hate cardio.

More???? But why....

Did you ever want more from something or someone but when you asked yourself why or when you were asked why, you had no answer?

Maybe its your job, your training, a friend, your husband or wife, your kids, your goals, your education, a co-worker...

I mean who the fuck knows... but have you every found yourself wanting more from these people or situations....YET you don't know why?

Can we as humans ever be satisfied with what we have now, at this moment?

Must we always need to be reaching for the next rung, promotion, level in a relationship?

Chest Day

sadly it won't give me back the chest I had as a teen... and the leaner I get the more awful they get... so contemplating implants but to damn stubborn to give up working chest for 6 months so the pec muscle isn't to hard to get implants into and then the idea of not ever working chest again... never benching again.... let alone the $$ for the damn things... guess I'll just have to deal with whats I got for now...

Tuesday, April 28 - Chest

Flat Bench

1/10 @ 95
1/8 @ 115
1/6 @ 135
1/8 @ 125

Inc BB Bench

1/8 @ 95
1/8 @95
1/8 @ 95

Inc DB Press

1/10 @ 45
1/9 @ 45
1/11 @ 45

Dips - unassisted bodyweight

1/12 @ BW x 3 sets

Cable Cross

1/12 @ 20
1/15 @ 25
1/12 @ 30

Ab work and lots of stretching. Cardio will be tonight.

Happy Birthday Michael

you would have been 50 today.

I miss our friendship.

So much to say to you wishing I had the chance to do so. But for now I will thank you for being up there watching over me.

Back to keeping up.. HOPEFULLY :o)

I have really, I mean REALLY, not been good about keeping this up. But I need to change that. There is a lot of stuff rolling around in my head and one thing I've learned from Rich is by writing it out, thoughts to paper, if you will, you can help see patterns, solve problems, or at the very least relieve some of the clutter in your head.

I just got back from a WONDERFUL week in Florida. I know at the end of September I am moving there but I can't even begin to tell you how sad I was the closer I got to Illinois. The closer I got the more I realized, there is nothing here for me... nothing.

By the time I got in the apartment door I was sobbing uncontrollably. It was like a slap in the face about how alone I am. It sucks.. I am a people person.. I mean I like 'time' to be alone but I also like interaction with other humans - but because of the lifestyle I lead its hard to find others to really hang out with - dunno... really... how to explain it to be honest, hence the very reason for just random posts and getting it out of my head - so while what I write might not be of interest to anyone else or make sense to anyone - hell there will be times it makes no sense to me - it is just my form of a paper journal because my hand writing sucks :o)

I guess the TRUE reality is even when I move to Florida... I will be in the same boat... I will be alone, but at least I will be in the land of sunshine. Been re-considering some living arrangements once I get there... Maybe I just need to find my own place, period.... dunno...