I really do hate leg day at the gym... but yet, its my body part that really needs the most work... I so desire those strong, lean legs, yet I've always had thunder thighs... I am ok with my legs being muscular and thick... yeah geeky bodybuilders don't care if you say "hey you got some thick legs" we find that a compliment actually... but if they is gonna be thick... I want them thick with muscularity not FAT... and we ain't talking PHAT... i want...mmm.. thighs that don't rub together or touch.. i had that once in my adult life.. but they were skinny fat legs... I want thighs that when I am wearing shorts and walking.. my shorts don't end up riding up into my..mmm. well you know where they ride up...
So anyhow... since I haven't really worked them like they need to be worked in...ohhh... a good month I did a weenie girl workout and even though for me it felt weenie, I can tell ya by Sunday.. I would be in big trouble if I was a Catholic girl in church, stand up, sit down, kneel - cause in about two days the soreness will be at its peak...hhhmm its the weekend I didn't plan this leg day very well did I????? yes yes by later today, tomorrow and Sunday it will be a free fall to the potty seat... wishing I had bars to hang onto as I make my descent...
Squats
w/u 1 x 10 x 45lb bar
3 x 12 x 95
Lying Hamstring Curls
w/u 1 x 10 x 50
3 x 12 x 70
Leg Extensions
no w/u
3 x 12 x 70 every negative was slow...
Stiff Leg Dead Lifts (SLDL)
1 x 12 x 95
2 x 12 x 115
stairmaster and well I live on the 3rd floor so I work them steps two at a time coming up... now.. i need to get some stuff done... and I think I need some more coffee....
Friday, October 23, 2009
Yesterday's shoulder work
I love training shoulders... I don't brag on myself much but I will say... I DO Love my shoulders... to me there is just something about seeing a woman with defined arms...
Linda Hamilton in Terminator, Angela Basset in Whats Love Got to do with it or How Stella got her groove back, defined arms, round, capped shoulders, seeing the awesome striations and separation where shoulder muscle ends and bi's/tri's begin... its like a sculpted piece of clay, a work of art to me....
Linda Hamilton in Terminator, Angela Basset in Whats Love Got to do with it or How Stella got her groove back, defined arms, round, capped shoulders, seeing the awesome striations and separation where shoulder muscle ends and bi's/tri's begin... its like a sculpted piece of clay, a work of art to me....
So I always look forward to shoulder training day....
Seated Shoulder DB Press
2 x 12 x 30
2 x 12 x 35
DB Side Lat Raise
4 x 12 x 15
Bent Over Rear Delt Raise
3 x 12 x 15
Seated Smith Machine Military Press
3 x 12 x Bar+20 each side
1 x 8 x Bar+25 each side
DB Front Raise
1 x 12 x 15
2 x 12 x 20
1 x 12 x 15
I like training back to and its another strong feature.. but I can't SEE my back when I train it... so what is nice about shoulders is you can see the muscle when your working it... it took me a long time and I mean a LONG time (ask my friend Erin or George) to be able to 'look' at myself in the mirror when I am working out... its not a vanity thing at all... ladies and gents... trust me there IS something very powerful about watching the muscle under the skin expand and contract and grow(well ok the growth happens in your sleep really and when the muscle is repairing and resting but...)
so when your lifting don't be afraid, get in front of that mirror, watch what your doing... its also a good way to keep a check on your form and if your not sure of proper form... invest in a few sessions with a personal trainer to show you good form if nothing else....
Where's God??? Where's Waldo???
this was the title of a post I left on my blog many months ago, or maybe its on my other one I don't post to anymore...nope had to go back and look... its this blog from Sunday, October 5, 2008... that old Waldo keeps coming up in my life... and mmmm... if you go back and read that other post, its not pretty and dainty so you have been warned....
First let me tell you how Waldo has been in my life... When I was having a rough time in my first marriage I spent a lot and I mean a LOT of time at a friends home and with her family... so much time that if I wasn't 'home' by dinner time, Dean, Donna or one of the kids was calling to ask if I was ok... Well their daughter, Christine, was not even in kindergarten at this time yet... but this child was smart as a whip... and she was an awesomely beautiful young lady... the kind of beauty that strangers stop you and comment on it... now mind you Christine looked more like I could have been her mom... her dad, Dean was like me fair skinned, red hair, and Christine was a tow head blonde baby with the fair skin... when I went anywhere with Dean, Donna and Christine, those same strangers would look at Dean and I and say 'my you have a beautiful child' - it became a running joke with Donna and I.
Well Christine and I were close... every night when i came "home" for dinner she would ask me to read her a story... every night... Her book of choice... WHERE'S WALDO.. we had so much fun reading those books and searching for Waldo on every page... we really did.... Well one day in particular and this was after a couple of years of me reading to her almost nightly... I was just not in a reading mood... when the familiar words came out... "ms.kim can we read a story"
ME " Christine its been a really hard day I am not in a story reading mood today can we skip a day"
CHRISTINE "no ms.kim EYE want to read to YOU"
OMG well to say I was overcome with emotion is an understatement... "MY" little girl had learned how to read and wanted to read ME a story... all that bad day went right out the window as we cuddled up on the sofa and she read to me and we looked for Waldo on every page... gosh Christine has got to be in her 20's now, so yes this was a while ago and it still to this day makes me emotional when I think about it...
So fast forward to now.... and me being 44 and wanting to know more about Father, Son and Holy Spirit... wanting to suck up all I can and really REALLY have a relationship and personal knowledge of Him... but you find its not as easy as you might think... I mean it is, but it isn't... if that makes any sense... and I've said recently that it feels sometimes like seeking God, finding Him is like the childhood books I read to a friends child called.... YES you can guess what's coming... the Where's Waldo books.....so imagine my shock when I rec'd a book from a fellow blogger yesterday that spoke of this....
I've said before I am utterly amazed at the wonderful people you 'meet' on the internet... and sometimes some of those friendships do spill into actually meeting sometimes... but a fellow blogger, Diane, who reads my blog offered to send me a book entitled "God is closer than you think" hoping this would help me in finding out more about God, helping me to have a more personal relationship with Him....
So yesterday I go to the mailbox and there is the book.... without even opening the package I just had to say Thank you to God for such wonderful human beings... I mean this person does not know me from an ant... and here she was so kind as to send me a book in hopes of helping me understand Our Savior better... now how cool is that??? Well I was on my way to pick up Matt from the airport so I was unable to dive into it at that second... I set it on the seat and proceeded with what I had to do.....
Finally after picking Matt up I let him drive.. I was able to open the package... inside she put a cute sticky on the front "I hope this blesses you! Diane" and a smiley face.... so i read the back cover and then... I started to read the cover flaps to get an idea of what the book is about and call me a sap but I just started to cry... not sad tears but happy and shocking tears.... because this is what I read inside on the flap covers:
you want to believe that having a 'personal relationship with God' is more than just words. you long to really know him. but you can't have a relationship with someone who doesn't show up. WHERE IS GOD? closer than you think. more eager to connect with you than you can imagine. but amid the relentless crush of daily living, discerning God can be a lot like spotting WALDO in the popular cartoon book. he's in every picture, but you've got to train yourself to recognize him amid the clutter.
then it goes on to say:
using the popular Waldo theme and another famous image - Michelangelo's sistine Chapel painting of God and Adam....... Gods longing for you. as in the Michelangelo masterpiece, your heavenly father is stretching, straining toward you..... the second truth is that God, like Waldo, is not always easy to detect.
I was floored... it was a Godwink, it truly was.. and I have the book or one of them from SQuire Rushnell "when God winks at you" - how God speaks directly to you through the power of coincidence....
I mean come on... Diane had no idea I loved Waldo... she sent this book to help me on my journey... and I am sure Diane has lots of books she could have offered to send me... but why was this one chosen???? I firmly believe somehow God spoke to Diane's heart about choosing THIS book because He knew of my love for Waldo and how I would react when I read that cover flap... I know some of my friends that read this are thinking OMG this woman is really falling off her rocker... Well that's ok... they are allowed to think how they want...
I KNOW this book was sent and not any other that might be in Diane's library because God WAS involved... I mean did He physically reach down and put THAT book in Diane's hand??? No I doubt that but He did in some way speak to her heart in helping her make a choice because He know how it would impact me just reading that cover flap. Now does this mean I am 'cured' I have found God on every page... oh my no but I WISH it were that easy... but I do know that the more I open my heart and my mind and 'train' my eye and my heart and mind to see God the easier it will get to find Him on every page, in every day, in every thing I think, say or do.
Diane - thank you... you may never ever know how wonderful of a gesture and how much this has touched me.. the kindness of a stranger - THANK YOU!
And God - THANK YOU for people like Diane and so many others that have come into my life via this blog or other means, and have been so instrumental in helping me find you!
First let me tell you how Waldo has been in my life... When I was having a rough time in my first marriage I spent a lot and I mean a LOT of time at a friends home and with her family... so much time that if I wasn't 'home' by dinner time, Dean, Donna or one of the kids was calling to ask if I was ok... Well their daughter, Christine, was not even in kindergarten at this time yet... but this child was smart as a whip... and she was an awesomely beautiful young lady... the kind of beauty that strangers stop you and comment on it... now mind you Christine looked more like I could have been her mom... her dad, Dean was like me fair skinned, red hair, and Christine was a tow head blonde baby with the fair skin... when I went anywhere with Dean, Donna and Christine, those same strangers would look at Dean and I and say 'my you have a beautiful child' - it became a running joke with Donna and I.
Well Christine and I were close... every night when i came "home" for dinner she would ask me to read her a story... every night... Her book of choice... WHERE'S WALDO.. we had so much fun reading those books and searching for Waldo on every page... we really did.... Well one day in particular and this was after a couple of years of me reading to her almost nightly... I was just not in a reading mood... when the familiar words came out... "ms.kim can we read a story"
ME " Christine its been a really hard day I am not in a story reading mood today can we skip a day"
CHRISTINE "no ms.kim EYE want to read to YOU"
OMG well to say I was overcome with emotion is an understatement... "MY" little girl had learned how to read and wanted to read ME a story... all that bad day went right out the window as we cuddled up on the sofa and she read to me and we looked for Waldo on every page... gosh Christine has got to be in her 20's now, so yes this was a while ago and it still to this day makes me emotional when I think about it...
So fast forward to now.... and me being 44 and wanting to know more about Father, Son and Holy Spirit... wanting to suck up all I can and really REALLY have a relationship and personal knowledge of Him... but you find its not as easy as you might think... I mean it is, but it isn't... if that makes any sense... and I've said recently that it feels sometimes like seeking God, finding Him is like the childhood books I read to a friends child called.... YES you can guess what's coming... the Where's Waldo books.....so imagine my shock when I rec'd a book from a fellow blogger yesterday that spoke of this....
I've said before I am utterly amazed at the wonderful people you 'meet' on the internet... and sometimes some of those friendships do spill into actually meeting sometimes... but a fellow blogger, Diane, who reads my blog offered to send me a book entitled "God is closer than you think" hoping this would help me in finding out more about God, helping me to have a more personal relationship with Him....
So yesterday I go to the mailbox and there is the book.... without even opening the package I just had to say Thank you to God for such wonderful human beings... I mean this person does not know me from an ant... and here she was so kind as to send me a book in hopes of helping me understand Our Savior better... now how cool is that??? Well I was on my way to pick up Matt from the airport so I was unable to dive into it at that second... I set it on the seat and proceeded with what I had to do.....
Finally after picking Matt up I let him drive.. I was able to open the package... inside she put a cute sticky on the front "I hope this blesses you! Diane" and a smiley face.... so i read the back cover and then... I started to read the cover flaps to get an idea of what the book is about and call me a sap but I just started to cry... not sad tears but happy and shocking tears.... because this is what I read inside on the flap covers:
you want to believe that having a 'personal relationship with God' is more than just words. you long to really know him. but you can't have a relationship with someone who doesn't show up. WHERE IS GOD? closer than you think. more eager to connect with you than you can imagine. but amid the relentless crush of daily living, discerning God can be a lot like spotting WALDO in the popular cartoon book. he's in every picture, but you've got to train yourself to recognize him amid the clutter.
then it goes on to say:
using the popular Waldo theme and another famous image - Michelangelo's sistine Chapel painting of God and Adam....... Gods longing for you. as in the Michelangelo masterpiece, your heavenly father is stretching, straining toward you..... the second truth is that God, like Waldo, is not always easy to detect.
I was floored... it was a Godwink, it truly was.. and I have the book or one of them from SQuire Rushnell "when God winks at you" - how God speaks directly to you through the power of coincidence....
I mean come on... Diane had no idea I loved Waldo... she sent this book to help me on my journey... and I am sure Diane has lots of books she could have offered to send me... but why was this one chosen???? I firmly believe somehow God spoke to Diane's heart about choosing THIS book because He knew of my love for Waldo and how I would react when I read that cover flap... I know some of my friends that read this are thinking OMG this woman is really falling off her rocker... Well that's ok... they are allowed to think how they want...
I KNOW this book was sent and not any other that might be in Diane's library because God WAS involved... I mean did He physically reach down and put THAT book in Diane's hand??? No I doubt that but He did in some way speak to her heart in helping her make a choice because He know how it would impact me just reading that cover flap. Now does this mean I am 'cured' I have found God on every page... oh my no but I WISH it were that easy... but I do know that the more I open my heart and my mind and 'train' my eye and my heart and mind to see God the easier it will get to find Him on every page, in every day, in every thing I think, say or do.
Diane - thank you... you may never ever know how wonderful of a gesture and how much this has touched me.. the kindness of a stranger - THANK YOU!
And God - THANK YOU for people like Diane and so many others that have come into my life via this blog or other means, and have been so instrumental in helping me find you!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Stepping forward?
You can tell yourself that you have already decided, that nothing now ...can stop you, but if that step backwards is so much safer than step forwards, what will hold you true to your path when the going gets tough? Sometimes, the right thing to do is to take that first irreversible step, the one after which you cannot go back. And now, for you, is one of those times.
So for any of you that do Facebook I get these God wants you to know messages and this was a message I got on FB today... worthy of sharing....I tell you it is UNCANNY how these messages seem to be something at the moment I need to read/hear... I mean spot on UNCANNY 9 times out of 10 - oh I know someone out there is gasping THIS IS OF THE DEVIL... give it a rest ok, its not tarot card reading or idol worshipping or anything like that...
But today's message has meaning for my life not only in my trying to walk closer to Jesus but in my personal life too, yes Jesus IS a part of my personal life, but in trying to decide about going back and finishing school... becoming a step mom and all it entails, considering having my first child in my mid/late 40's, competing in a physique challenge in March 2010 at the Arnold Fitness Classic, finding a church and becoming more involved... I mean really, for me, this message has a lot of meaning.....
So for any of you that do Facebook I get these God wants you to know messages and this was a message I got on FB today... worthy of sharing....I tell you it is UNCANNY how these messages seem to be something at the moment I need to read/hear... I mean spot on UNCANNY 9 times out of 10 - oh I know someone out there is gasping THIS IS OF THE DEVIL... give it a rest ok, its not tarot card reading or idol worshipping or anything like that...
But today's message has meaning for my life not only in my trying to walk closer to Jesus but in my personal life too, yes Jesus IS a part of my personal life, but in trying to decide about going back and finishing school... becoming a step mom and all it entails, considering having my first child in my mid/late 40's, competing in a physique challenge in March 2010 at the Arnold Fitness Classic, finding a church and becoming more involved... I mean really, for me, this message has a lot of meaning.....
Bi's and Tri's
I think my trick to peeps not taking up space on equipment and only working their jaw muscle... being there earlier....
4 x 12 x 25
4 x 12 x 60
4 x 12 x 40
4 x 12 x 40
4 x 12 x 50
1 x 12 x 70
3 x 12 x 80
If your every wondering what any of these exercises are... please feel free to ask or you can visit EXRX for a list of body parts and various exercises you can do for those parts...
Dumbbell Curls
4 x 12 x 25
Tricep Rope Pushdowns
4 x 12 x 60
Barbell Curls
4 x 12 x 40
SkullCrushers
4 x 12 x 40
Bicep Rope Cable Curls
4 x 12 x 50
Tricep Rope Overhead Kickouts
1 x 12 x 70
3 x 12 x 80
If your every wondering what any of these exercises are... please feel free to ask or you can visit EXRX for a list of body parts and various exercises you can do for those parts...
I'd like to thank all the people that got me here....
1. I LOVE heavy metal music... yes hard core heavy metal blow your ears out music - my iPod is one heck of an eclectic mix - country, Christian Rock, Hard Core Christian Rock, Death Metal, top40, Show tunes...
2. I hated having red hair and freckles as a kid but NOW I love it because it makes me unique and different - did you know only 5% of the American population has natural red hair?
3. I can eyeball a 3 oz portion of chicken breast and 95% of the time, be spot on if you put it on a scale
4. I drive like a bat out of hell... yes like Tom Cruise in Top Gun.. I have a need... a need for speed!
5. I wanted to be a veterinarian and a teacher when I was a child - but then I realized I'd have to do surgery on animals and that put an end to that...and teacher... not sure I could REALLY handle multiple kids at once
6. I hate nuts in candy, cakes or cookies.. I mean I will eat them out of the can like nobody's business but the minute you put nuts in Chocolate Chip cookies or brownies or ice cream... I won't touch them? (hey maybe I am onto something regarding my food addictions??? just put nuts in everything!)
7. I'd stay in my pajama's all day, EVERY day if you'd let me, yes even go to the gym in them
8. I HATE to slow dance... take me to a club and get some disco music going and I won't sit down but ask me to slow dance and I run for the hills... might be the two left feet thing?? I dunno....
9. If I smell a cologne or perfume I like on someone male or female.. I will walk up to a complete stranger... sometimes this can get you into trouble if the guy has a jealous girlfriend...
10. My secret desire is to be Ellie Mae Clampet.. live on a farm and have tons of animals... horses, goats, chickens, sheep, cows, pigs, you name it... i actually like the smell of horse manuer
Now as for passing this on.... well I have to come back to ya on that one.... cause heck I have no idea if I have the link thingy figured out as it is...
Awards, accolades and other stuff
I gotta an award from a fellow blogger.... I've gotta run out and pick up kiddo from early release day so I will have to pick up my cool award and share more on it and me later...
I thank all of you for the wonderful comments on my progress... I did not repost that to do any bragging on myself, because if you knew me, you would know I am not like that at all... I don't see what I did as anything phenomenal or anything that anyone can't do or obtain... I only re-post it from time to time so anyone new to my blog does not think I always looked like the current pictures in my blog on in my header...
truth is, even right now... I don't resemble that... see I am not perfect in this living a lean life thing.. even though I've been doing it since 2002 when I hit 215 on the scale... I am an addict... I have an addictive personality...I've been addicted to drugs, there was a time I drank like a sailor (I don't and didn't consider myself an alcoholic because I did not need it to function and I can have a glass of wine now and not need more), good gosh I smoked pot at one time like it was the grass in my yard... I am not and was not perfect...
but one addiction I've not been able to really grab a hold of and handle for any length of time... FOOD... yes people can be addicted to food... and this is different, to me, in many ways because while I did not need to smoke pot or snort cocaine to live (even though at one time it FELT that way) you DO have to eat food to live...so how do you handle an addiction that, well, you really do need to live...
Now granted I don't need Hershey Kisses, or cookies, or ice cream or whatever... but I can tell you I can eat a whole bag of grapes without batting an eye, I can open a box of cereal and consume it, a loaf of bread can be gone in less than an hour - and while yes in moderation ALL of these are good for you foods... even to much of a good thing (well besides Jesus) can be bad for you... if you consume more calories than you body needs or burns in day to day activity or exercise, even if its a good healthy substance, you will store it as fat...
so I still struggle daily with this one addiction I can't get away from and I am learning or trying to learn how to control....believe me its a daily struggle...
and some may be GASPING.. OMG she did drugs... Yes. yes I did and, at that time, I enjoyed it too... I am not PROUD of it but I am also not ashamed of it... and truth is... if my being so open and honest about myself helps even one person, just ONE person - then I am glad to have shared...
I heard something on Dr.Phil the other day from a guest he had and I've also heard this from Billy Graham... sometimes those things we feel ashamed of or not so proud of are the very things the Lord wants us to use to help others in being brought to Him....so if my admitting I had an issue with drugs at one time but managed to turn my life around helps someone that may happen across this... Then I have given back in my book...
I thank all of you for the wonderful comments on my progress... I did not repost that to do any bragging on myself, because if you knew me, you would know I am not like that at all... I don't see what I did as anything phenomenal or anything that anyone can't do or obtain... I only re-post it from time to time so anyone new to my blog does not think I always looked like the current pictures in my blog on in my header...
truth is, even right now... I don't resemble that... see I am not perfect in this living a lean life thing.. even though I've been doing it since 2002 when I hit 215 on the scale... I am an addict... I have an addictive personality...I've been addicted to drugs, there was a time I drank like a sailor (I don't and didn't consider myself an alcoholic because I did not need it to function and I can have a glass of wine now and not need more), good gosh I smoked pot at one time like it was the grass in my yard... I am not and was not perfect...
but one addiction I've not been able to really grab a hold of and handle for any length of time... FOOD... yes people can be addicted to food... and this is different, to me, in many ways because while I did not need to smoke pot or snort cocaine to live (even though at one time it FELT that way) you DO have to eat food to live...so how do you handle an addiction that, well, you really do need to live...
Now granted I don't need Hershey Kisses, or cookies, or ice cream or whatever... but I can tell you I can eat a whole bag of grapes without batting an eye, I can open a box of cereal and consume it, a loaf of bread can be gone in less than an hour - and while yes in moderation ALL of these are good for you foods... even to much of a good thing (well besides Jesus) can be bad for you... if you consume more calories than you body needs or burns in day to day activity or exercise, even if its a good healthy substance, you will store it as fat...
so I still struggle daily with this one addiction I can't get away from and I am learning or trying to learn how to control....believe me its a daily struggle...
and some may be GASPING.. OMG she did drugs... Yes. yes I did and, at that time, I enjoyed it too... I am not PROUD of it but I am also not ashamed of it... and truth is... if my being so open and honest about myself helps even one person, just ONE person - then I am glad to have shared...
I heard something on Dr.Phil the other day from a guest he had and I've also heard this from Billy Graham... sometimes those things we feel ashamed of or not so proud of are the very things the Lord wants us to use to help others in being brought to Him....so if my admitting I had an issue with drugs at one time but managed to turn my life around helps someone that may happen across this... Then I have given back in my book...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
An oldie but a goodie
I actually have two blogs on blogspot... one I don't post to anymore... but this was among one of my first posts... it sort of gives a little background in how I got into bodybuilding in the first place...its not like I was some groupie that admired muscular women... only BBers I ever even knew of were pro's that, well, while the work hard in their sport, do not necessarily 'look' like women... but they still bust butt in the gym... truth is there are some that don't think EYE look like a woman and I an no where near PRO quality - truth is
I LOVE MY MUSCULARITY! and when I look back at where I started, soft, fat, squishy, very unhappy and very unhealthy... I would not trade what I have now for anything - I realize what I do isn't for everyone and know what... that's perfectly ok - to each his own they say - I have friends from all walks of life..
**********************************************************************************
Originally posted Oct 2005
Me Jan 2002
215 lbs and struggling
to zip size 18 pants
I've been on this weight loss path before and I guess I've come to realize, it will be a never ending journey for me. One I will always have to be aware of. Because when I 'm not it bites me in the ass..
I never had a weight problem when I was a kid. Of course we were pretty poor so there was not a lot of junk around the house. My mom kept regular soda around but we were not allowed to drink her pepsi. Looking back its not like kool-aid was any better. Hello you added 2 freaking cups of sugar to a powdered substance along with 2 quarts of water. Can you say call the dentist...
My weight has been as high as 215 pounds (Jan2002) and as low as 130 pounds (July 2003) and everywhere in between.
My first realization that I had some issues with food were when I turned 18. I moved out of my mothers house and in with my then boyfriend. His grandparents were always giving him money. And for the first time in my life, junk food was abundant. We smoked pot and ate whatever, whenever we wanted. Course when your smoking pot, the eating is certainly an after effect and its not like you want to eat fruits andveggies either. I have no idea what I weighed, didn't have a scale and didn't care really. But for the first time I was having to buy bigger clothes. I always lived comfortably in a size 9 and I recall having to buy 12's.
From this point the vicious cycle began. I'd lose some weight, gain some back, lose some more. I never exercised so the pounds were always dropped by calorie restriction and the latest fad pill on the market. This yo-yo cycle continued for many years. If I had to guess I'd say from the time I was 20 yrs old till I was 36ish... I struggled with the gain/lose thing...
Finally hitting my all time high in January of 2002 of 215 pounds. I knew it was time to do something. I wasn't about to make any new year resolutions, hell never kept then in the past what would make this any different. This time I was in a size 18 and they were getting tight. I hated ME...
My then husband took some pictures of me for a weight loss challenge I was going to be involved in on a website I belong to called the Leanness Lifestyle (www.leannesslifestyle.com). OMG talk about devastating. How can you look in the mirror every single day, clothed or naked, and not see what I saw looking back at me in those pictures? I was horrified and it still brings tears to my eyes to look at those pictures.
So the challenge started on April 29, 2002, with me at 182. I had lost 33 pounds since Jan.1 already. The challenge ended on July9, 2002, 10 wks later, with me at 157 pounds. I had lost 25 pounds in 10 wks. I didn't starve myself. The leanness lifestyle DOES NOT promote starvation. Rather I had learned healthier eating habits, I ate smaller portions 4-6 times a day, and I exercised, both weight training and cardiovascular workouts, all those things working together, got me there.
After the challenge ended, I lost a bit more, about 7 pounds and then I hovered around the 150 mark for a long time. I continued all the healthier habits I had learned with food and smaller portions. But best of all, I continued with weights and cardio. The more I trained the more muscle I could see under the skin. I wanted more.
Having made many friends at LL, many of us ventured out in November 2002 to Rockford Illinois to watch one of our club members compete in his first amatuer bodybuilding event. We came from everywhere to cheer Tom on, me from Delaware, we came from California, Florida, Wisconsin, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Michigan...There had to be 30+ of us there, all having been nothing but internet friends before that weekend. In case you haven't figured it out, the club at leanness lifestyle is more like a family.
Anyhow, I had never thought of bodybuilding, figured it was something for the elite. Besides what I knew about the sport of bodybuilding was ZERO. What came to my mind when I thought of bodybuilding were freakish looking individuals, especially the women, with muscles bulging from everywhere. I was pleasantly surprised that amatuer bodybuilders look nothing like that at all. The men and women on the stage that day were beautiful works of art and thier bodies were the canvas. I had begun to see muscle development in my own physique and thought WOW would I love to have a body like that. I never really thought of competing myself because I am a very shy individual and to think of getting up on a stage in a posing suit (less than a bikini for all intents and purposes) well that was not something I could ever do.. but I could look like that, have a body like that. From there my quest was on.
I came home from Illinois with renewed spirit and sense of purpose. I had a vision of what I wanted to look like. Strong and muscular, yet still feminine and best of all it WAS possible, even for me. So I set out on this quest. Another challenge was being offered at LL, a more advanced challenge for those with some experience behind them. I was selected as one of the participants.
This challenge began on April 22, 2003 with me at 151 and ended on August 12, 2003 with me at 131 and bodyfat somewhere in the 15% range. I continued once again with clean eating, doing cardio and really bumped up the resistance training. By this time I had found a personal trainer, Mike Farmer. He is awesome. He believed in me when I didn't. He was a GREAT trainer and I miss him dearly (I've since moved to Illinois, he is in Maryland) he pushed me to places I never thought I could go with poundages I never thought possible for a 130ish pound woman. At one point I was squatting (with his spot of course) 175 pounds, 45 more then I weighed. I didn't lose any more weight, I was quite happy with being between 135 and 140 pounds, but I did take my bodyfat down to 12%. I started to think.... hhhmmm maybe I could compete in amatuer bodybuilding.
Well I never realized that particular goal until November 2004. I competed in the same show as my friend Tom had competed in previously in Nov 02, the Muscle Classic in Rockford IL. I placed 5th, course there were only 5 in the women's open class that I competed in, but I didn't look at it like I came in last... Hell no in my mind I came in first. Not meaning my physique was better than the gal that placed 1st, heck no, but figuratively when I think of where I was at 215 lbs to where I came that day, 137 and up on a bodybuilding stage, I was first in my mind!
Well this has gotten pretty long so I will close here for now and try and find some photos, befores and afters to post.
I LOVE MY MUSCULARITY! and when I look back at where I started, soft, fat, squishy, very unhappy and very unhealthy... I would not trade what I have now for anything - I realize what I do isn't for everyone and know what... that's perfectly ok - to each his own they say - I have friends from all walks of life..
**********************************************************************************
Originally posted Oct 2005
Me Jan 2002
215 lbs and struggling
to zip size 18 pants
I've been on this weight loss path before and I guess I've come to realize, it will be a never ending journey for me. One I will always have to be aware of. Because when I 'm not it bites me in the ass..
I never had a weight problem when I was a kid. Of course we were pretty poor so there was not a lot of junk around the house. My mom kept regular soda around but we were not allowed to drink her pepsi. Looking back its not like kool-aid was any better. Hello you added 2 freaking cups of sugar to a powdered substance along with 2 quarts of water. Can you say call the dentist...
My weight has been as high as 215 pounds (Jan2002) and as low as 130 pounds (July 2003) and everywhere in between.
My first realization that I had some issues with food were when I turned 18. I moved out of my mothers house and in with my then boyfriend. His grandparents were always giving him money. And for the first time in my life, junk food was abundant. We smoked pot and ate whatever, whenever we wanted. Course when your smoking pot, the eating is certainly an after effect and its not like you want to eat fruits andveggies either. I have no idea what I weighed, didn't have a scale and didn't care really. But for the first time I was having to buy bigger clothes. I always lived comfortably in a size 9 and I recall having to buy 12's.
From this point the vicious cycle began. I'd lose some weight, gain some back, lose some more. I never exercised so the pounds were always dropped by calorie restriction and the latest fad pill on the market. This yo-yo cycle continued for many years. If I had to guess I'd say from the time I was 20 yrs old till I was 36ish... I struggled with the gain/lose thing...
Finally hitting my all time high in January of 2002 of 215 pounds. I knew it was time to do something. I wasn't about to make any new year resolutions, hell never kept then in the past what would make this any different. This time I was in a size 18 and they were getting tight. I hated ME...
My then husband took some pictures of me for a weight loss challenge I was going to be involved in on a website I belong to called the Leanness Lifestyle (www.leannesslifestyle.com). OMG talk about devastating. How can you look in the mirror every single day, clothed or naked, and not see what I saw looking back at me in those pictures? I was horrified and it still brings tears to my eyes to look at those pictures.
So the challenge started on April 29, 2002, with me at 182. I had lost 33 pounds since Jan.1 already. The challenge ended on July9, 2002, 10 wks later, with me at 157 pounds. I had lost 25 pounds in 10 wks. I didn't starve myself. The leanness lifestyle DOES NOT promote starvation. Rather I had learned healthier eating habits, I ate smaller portions 4-6 times a day, and I exercised, both weight training and cardiovascular workouts, all those things working together, got me there.
After the challenge ended, I lost a bit more, about 7 pounds and then I hovered around the 150 mark for a long time. I continued all the healthier habits I had learned with food and smaller portions. But best of all, I continued with weights and cardio. The more I trained the more muscle I could see under the skin. I wanted more.
Having made many friends at LL, many of us ventured out in November 2002 to Rockford Illinois to watch one of our club members compete in his first amatuer bodybuilding event. We came from everywhere to cheer Tom on, me from Delaware, we came from California, Florida, Wisconsin, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Michigan...There had to be 30+ of us there, all having been nothing but internet friends before that weekend. In case you haven't figured it out, the club at leanness lifestyle is more like a family.
Anyhow, I had never thought of bodybuilding, figured it was something for the elite. Besides what I knew about the sport of bodybuilding was ZERO. What came to my mind when I thought of bodybuilding were freakish looking individuals, especially the women, with muscles bulging from everywhere. I was pleasantly surprised that amatuer bodybuilders look nothing like that at all. The men and women on the stage that day were beautiful works of art and thier bodies were the canvas. I had begun to see muscle development in my own physique and thought WOW would I love to have a body like that. I never really thought of competing myself because I am a very shy individual and to think of getting up on a stage in a posing suit (less than a bikini for all intents and purposes) well that was not something I could ever do.. but I could look like that, have a body like that. From there my quest was on.
I came home from Illinois with renewed spirit and sense of purpose. I had a vision of what I wanted to look like. Strong and muscular, yet still feminine and best of all it WAS possible, even for me. So I set out on this quest. Another challenge was being offered at LL, a more advanced challenge for those with some experience behind them. I was selected as one of the participants.
This challenge began on April 22, 2003 with me at 151 and ended on August 12, 2003 with me at 131 and bodyfat somewhere in the 15% range. I continued once again with clean eating, doing cardio and really bumped up the resistance training. By this time I had found a personal trainer, Mike Farmer. He is awesome. He believed in me when I didn't. He was a GREAT trainer and I miss him dearly (I've since moved to Illinois, he is in Maryland) he pushed me to places I never thought I could go with poundages I never thought possible for a 130ish pound woman. At one point I was squatting (with his spot of course) 175 pounds, 45 more then I weighed. I didn't lose any more weight, I was quite happy with being between 135 and 140 pounds, but I did take my bodyfat down to 12%. I started to think.... hhhmmm maybe I could compete in amatuer bodybuilding.
Well I never realized that particular goal until November 2004. I competed in the same show as my friend Tom had competed in previously in Nov 02, the Muscle Classic in Rockford IL. I placed 5th, course there were only 5 in the women's open class that I competed in, but I didn't look at it like I came in last... Hell no in my mind I came in first. Not meaning my physique was better than the gal that placed 1st, heck no, but figuratively when I think of where I was at 215 lbs to where I came that day, 137 and up on a bodybuilding stage, I was first in my mind!
Well this has gotten pretty long so I will close here for now and try and find some photos, befores and afters to post.
Chest and Back
Barbell Bench Press
4 x 12 x 95
1 Arm DB Rows
4 x 12 x 45
BB Incline Bench Press
2 x 12 x 65
2 x 12 x 75
Wide Grip Lat Pulldowns
2 x 12 x 90
2 x 12 x 105
DB Incline Fly
4 x 12 x 25
Straight Arm Pulldowns
3 x 12 x 70
1 x 12 x 80
cardio tonight when Trevor is at karate....
4 x 12 x 95
1 Arm DB Rows
4 x 12 x 45
BB Incline Bench Press
2 x 12 x 65
2 x 12 x 75
Wide Grip Lat Pulldowns
2 x 12 x 90
2 x 12 x 105
DB Incline Fly
4 x 12 x 25
Straight Arm Pulldowns
3 x 12 x 70
1 x 12 x 80
cardio tonight when Trevor is at karate....
Monday, October 19, 2009
Loosing a friend...
Michael I hope you are resting in peace.... its hard to believe its been 2 yrs tomorrow, October 20th that you've been gone.
So many things I wish I could have changed about our life together... so many things... things I did, things you did, things we did or didn't do as a married couple... But God does not afford us any opportunity to go back, only... forward and learn from our errors...
Even though we divorced we remained friends and I miss that friendship... those silly calls in the middle of the night.. or you always had some uncanny way of calling when I just needed a friend. I am sorry to say that your mother has NOT been a good steward of anything you left behind... but then again, you probably know that...
Michael you were the only worthy human that woman ever produced, yet, you are the one that is no longer with us? God could have surely taken one or both of your brothers but instead you were taken... the one that was loved by all and friend to many? I still don't understand that and I know its not very Christian like of me to say how things should have went down but... I guess I just miss you, miss your friendship, and wish I could just say HI...
I know you were not perfect... I know WE were not perfect when we were together... but I did learn a lot and I will take that lesson with me into this marriage... I learned things to do and things not to do and as I always say:
EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
So many things I wish I could have changed about our life together... so many things... things I did, things you did, things we did or didn't do as a married couple... But God does not afford us any opportunity to go back, only... forward and learn from our errors...
Even though we divorced we remained friends and I miss that friendship... those silly calls in the middle of the night.. or you always had some uncanny way of calling when I just needed a friend. I am sorry to say that your mother has NOT been a good steward of anything you left behind... but then again, you probably know that...
Michael you were the only worthy human that woman ever produced, yet, you are the one that is no longer with us? God could have surely taken one or both of your brothers but instead you were taken... the one that was loved by all and friend to many? I still don't understand that and I know its not very Christian like of me to say how things should have went down but... I guess I just miss you, miss your friendship, and wish I could just say HI...
I know you were not perfect... I know WE were not perfect when we were together... but I did learn a lot and I will take that lesson with me into this marriage... I learned things to do and things not to do and as I always say:
EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
Ok all you mom's I am at a loss here...
Ok this is just to flipping funny and I am sure it won't be the only funny thing I encounter in this wild ride of being a step mom... or bonus parent as a high school friend that found me on Facebook calls it (I like that bonus parent)...
some background if it helps:
Trevor is 7.. will be 8 in April...
so I noticed and its absolutely funny as I don't know what.. but at 7.. when he goes to 'use the bathroom' he takes either reading material or his PSP to entertain himself while he is...mmm... taking care of business...
now first I find this funny at 7... even funnier when I've come to realize he does NOT get this from his dad... nope its not a "i've seen dad do this for years so I'm gonna copy it thing" - dad goes in, does his thing, gets out.. but Trev...
well, I swear this kid could read War and Peace for the amount of time he is in there, but the funniest part of all of this is without a doubt when he finally emerges from the 'reading room' any clothing he has on, except his underwear, will be off????
The first time he came out of the bathroom after having been in there for a bit and he was in his skivvies (sp?) I thought I was going to loose it... I seriously had to go into my bathroom and busted out laughing... not at him but just at situation in general... I mean what goes on in there??
Is is that warm, do you create that much body temperature you have to strip down????
Now when he comes out I just ask where are your clothes... he just smiles and heads off to his room...
some background if it helps:
Trevor is 7.. will be 8 in April...
so I noticed and its absolutely funny as I don't know what.. but at 7.. when he goes to 'use the bathroom' he takes either reading material or his PSP to entertain himself while he is...mmm... taking care of business...
now first I find this funny at 7... even funnier when I've come to realize he does NOT get this from his dad... nope its not a "i've seen dad do this for years so I'm gonna copy it thing" - dad goes in, does his thing, gets out.. but Trev...
well, I swear this kid could read War and Peace for the amount of time he is in there, but the funniest part of all of this is without a doubt when he finally emerges from the 'reading room' any clothing he has on, except his underwear, will be off????
The first time he came out of the bathroom after having been in there for a bit and he was in his skivvies (sp?) I thought I was going to loose it... I seriously had to go into my bathroom and busted out laughing... not at him but just at situation in general... I mean what goes on in there??
Is is that warm, do you create that much body temperature you have to strip down????
Now when he comes out I just ask where are your clothes... he just smiles and heads off to his room...
Angel Tree Needs Help
I am reposting, with Alicia's permission, a link to her blog... I don't have a home church yet since we literally just moved to the area else I'd be bringing this before the church for sure, but I thought the least I could do is help spread the word... but perhaps you could bring this to your church and see if they could help out???? Time is of the essence...
If you have any questions, pop on over the Alicia's blog and ask away...click on this blog title or the link below...
http://lifesajourney-alicia.blogspot.com/2009/10/angel-tree-needs-help.html
If you have any questions, pop on over the Alicia's blog and ask away...click on this blog title or the link below...
http://lifesajourney-alicia.blogspot.com/2009/10/angel-tree-needs-help.html
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Thank you!
To every single one of you that posted on my "how do you know" post from the other day...
I read every single response and I appreciate EVERY SINGLE response! I don't care if your male or female, Baptist, Catholic, or yes even atheist.... I do not judge, that is NOT my position to judge anyone...
Do unto others as you would have done unto you... I don't want anyone to judge me so I try not to do that to anyone else... am I perfect, oh heck no... I say I am a recovering perfectionist... perfectly imperfect - that's me..
we are all entitled to our thoughts and opinions and I appreciate every single person that responded...
And I also appreciate the prayers - you will never know how much each response moved me to tears... I am always amazed at the wonderful people you can 'meet' on the internet thru a blog or website...
I read every single response and I appreciate EVERY SINGLE response! I don't care if your male or female, Baptist, Catholic, or yes even atheist.... I do not judge, that is NOT my position to judge anyone...
Do unto others as you would have done unto you... I don't want anyone to judge me so I try not to do that to anyone else... am I perfect, oh heck no... I say I am a recovering perfectionist... perfectly imperfect - that's me..
we are all entitled to our thoughts and opinions and I appreciate every single person that responded...
And I also appreciate the prayers - you will never know how much each response moved me to tears... I am always amazed at the wonderful people you can 'meet' on the internet thru a blog or website...
Finding a new 'home'
A new church home that is... I mean living wise I think we found a home...
Well two weeks or so ago we went looking at rentals with a realtor... found a place we ALL loved... I mean LOVED... well come to find out, it was not an 'in house' listing with the realtor we were working with but she was given permission to show it to us by the listing agency... we looked at it on a Saturday, told her after looking at it, lets move on this... she called listing agent only to find they rented it on FRIDAY!!!! our realtor was not happy nor were we.. that other realtor could have given her a call since he knew she was taking us there to look at it.. ok back to square one...
Looked at a place on Friday night... again, loved it... but for almost $1400 a month, we'd have to pay all these crazy ass fees just to submit an application.. sorry it DOES NOT cost anyone $50 per adult to run a credit check, give me a break.. plus this place had no fridge we'd have to buy a fridge.. and, well, it would have meant Trevor having to change schools, again... he started school in August in Florida... in September he started here in SC at Oakbrook, and this place would have meant changing him again... that's a lot for an older kid let alone a 7 yr old, and a sort of shy one at that....
But I think we have decided to go with a home we saw that first weekend in October.. it is in a neighboorhood that is right across from Trevor's school.. we can literally walk there (yeah lets see that happening.. me, heck ya, Trevor or Matt walking there.. mmm probably not ;o) these two are like dead weights to get up in the AM as it is let alone up early enough to WALK to school... ) anyhow as long as credit checks go thru, we are deemed worthy individuals, no criminal records, yada yada yada, we should be new tenants in Eagles Run Subdivision.... 202 Chemistry Drive...
(gee I hope that bank robber thing has been wiped off... JK)
(or there is that time I was part of the Irish mob)
But none of that has proved as trying as finding a new church home... now I will say... I have been to a few churches that 'do it' for me...
Joy Lutheran in Gurnee IL (yes I drove 45 min to an hour ONE WAY) to attend... great pastor, great music, always a great message, and, well, one of my good friends, Robin and her family attend... so win win all the way around.. and I 'feel' something when I am there.
another is Trinity Lutheran in Crown Point IN - more sentimental that anything... but having attending that church as a young teen, I can remember re-entering that house of worship as an adult when I was visiting my brother (I was living on east coast at the time) and this 'feeling' just came over me... I was moved to tears, literally...
and Crossroads in Demotte IN... - my brother lives in Wheatfield IN and when I'd visit we attended either his church or his wife's church (he is Lutheran she is catholic) but one time on a visit my brother took me to an alternative church he attends from time to time, this was Crossroads - and OH MY GOSH that place rocks, yes the music is great too but for me the pastor... well I could listen to him deliver God's message for hours.. this is a church that I could careless what time it is or if the pastor went on for 2+ hrs... his delivery of the message was just splendid!
then there is Trinity in Eustis Florida... I only attended twice, this is/was Matt's church home before our move to SC, and I enjoyed it also...
And lets say Matt is as particular about a church home as I am... we both know its not necessarily something we can describe but when we 'feel' it we will know it... so... we've been here 4 Sunday's now...
First Sunday we attended Coastal Community Church - Trevor and I liked it a lot, a little bit of a drive from our place in Summerville but I enjoyed the service and music and the atmosphere, and Trevor just loved the kids area and service... Matt wasn't as enthralled as Trevor and I...
Second and Third Sunday we attended Fellowship in Summerville - Matt liked it more than Trevor and I... its a Baptist denominational church and that isn't what bothers me.. I prefer non-denom but as long as the music, people, atmosphere, message are there.. I can go with the flow...
Fourth Sunday we attended CrossRoads of Summerville - Matt and I enjoyed it, but Trevor STILL likes the first church we attended... sigh... I think next Sunday we will be in Florida moving Matt's things out of storage into our new home (keep your fingers crossed those criminal records have been esponged - hahaha) and of course will attend Trinity in Eustis or CrossPointe in Orlando... but we will give Crossroads of Summerville a 2nd go... hopefully Trevor will warm to it.
I know I know we should not base our church home on a 7 yr old but I feel his opinion is an important one also... if we intend to make this a 'church home' then Trevor must feel at home there too.. I may not be his birth mother but I never want him to not grow up in the Lord... I did for the most part and now I am playing catch up at 44... and for him to embrace it he too has to feel at home there...
They seem to have a lot of things going on for the kids, like movie nights and such so hopefully once he gets into that he will be more inclined to associate it with a fun thing and hopefully... HOPEFULLY make some friends... he is an only child and really needs some kid interaction in his life... and well selfishly I am hoping perhaps that will lead to Matt and I finding adults we can associate with and maybe, down the line, trade off some babysitting time???
Believe me I adore Trevor (even when he is being a booger) but its hit me hard that right now Matt and I can not have a 'date' night even if that means just the two of us having a dinner at Applebee's and having uninterrupted adult conversation... we know no one in South Carolina and even I, as the non birth mom, would NEVER EVER just leave my kid with just anyone...
So I will continue to pray and ask God to reveal our new church home to us. I know God is in every church but I think y'all know what I mean when I talk about that 'feeling' of home you get from your church...
Well two weeks or so ago we went looking at rentals with a realtor... found a place we ALL loved... I mean LOVED... well come to find out, it was not an 'in house' listing with the realtor we were working with but she was given permission to show it to us by the listing agency... we looked at it on a Saturday, told her after looking at it, lets move on this... she called listing agent only to find they rented it on FRIDAY!!!! our realtor was not happy nor were we.. that other realtor could have given her a call since he knew she was taking us there to look at it.. ok back to square one...
Looked at a place on Friday night... again, loved it... but for almost $1400 a month, we'd have to pay all these crazy ass fees just to submit an application.. sorry it DOES NOT cost anyone $50 per adult to run a credit check, give me a break.. plus this place had no fridge we'd have to buy a fridge.. and, well, it would have meant Trevor having to change schools, again... he started school in August in Florida... in September he started here in SC at Oakbrook, and this place would have meant changing him again... that's a lot for an older kid let alone a 7 yr old, and a sort of shy one at that....
But I think we have decided to go with a home we saw that first weekend in October.. it is in a neighboorhood that is right across from Trevor's school.. we can literally walk there (yeah lets see that happening.. me, heck ya, Trevor or Matt walking there.. mmm probably not ;o) these two are like dead weights to get up in the AM as it is let alone up early enough to WALK to school... ) anyhow as long as credit checks go thru, we are deemed worthy individuals, no criminal records, yada yada yada, we should be new tenants in Eagles Run Subdivision.... 202 Chemistry Drive...
(gee I hope that bank robber thing has been wiped off... JK)
(or there is that time I was part of the Irish mob)
But none of that has proved as trying as finding a new church home... now I will say... I have been to a few churches that 'do it' for me...
Joy Lutheran in Gurnee IL (yes I drove 45 min to an hour ONE WAY) to attend... great pastor, great music, always a great message, and, well, one of my good friends, Robin and her family attend... so win win all the way around.. and I 'feel' something when I am there.
another is Trinity Lutheran in Crown Point IN - more sentimental that anything... but having attending that church as a young teen, I can remember re-entering that house of worship as an adult when I was visiting my brother (I was living on east coast at the time) and this 'feeling' just came over me... I was moved to tears, literally...
and Crossroads in Demotte IN... - my brother lives in Wheatfield IN and when I'd visit we attended either his church or his wife's church (he is Lutheran she is catholic) but one time on a visit my brother took me to an alternative church he attends from time to time, this was Crossroads - and OH MY GOSH that place rocks, yes the music is great too but for me the pastor... well I could listen to him deliver God's message for hours.. this is a church that I could careless what time it is or if the pastor went on for 2+ hrs... his delivery of the message was just splendid!
then there is Trinity in Eustis Florida... I only attended twice, this is/was Matt's church home before our move to SC, and I enjoyed it also...
And lets say Matt is as particular about a church home as I am... we both know its not necessarily something we can describe but when we 'feel' it we will know it... so... we've been here 4 Sunday's now...
First Sunday we attended Coastal Community Church - Trevor and I liked it a lot, a little bit of a drive from our place in Summerville but I enjoyed the service and music and the atmosphere, and Trevor just loved the kids area and service... Matt wasn't as enthralled as Trevor and I...
Second and Third Sunday we attended Fellowship in Summerville - Matt liked it more than Trevor and I... its a Baptist denominational church and that isn't what bothers me.. I prefer non-denom but as long as the music, people, atmosphere, message are there.. I can go with the flow...
Fourth Sunday we attended CrossRoads of Summerville - Matt and I enjoyed it, but Trevor STILL likes the first church we attended... sigh... I think next Sunday we will be in Florida moving Matt's things out of storage into our new home (keep your fingers crossed those criminal records have been esponged - hahaha) and of course will attend Trinity in Eustis or CrossPointe in Orlando... but we will give Crossroads of Summerville a 2nd go... hopefully Trevor will warm to it.
I know I know we should not base our church home on a 7 yr old but I feel his opinion is an important one also... if we intend to make this a 'church home' then Trevor must feel at home there too.. I may not be his birth mother but I never want him to not grow up in the Lord... I did for the most part and now I am playing catch up at 44... and for him to embrace it he too has to feel at home there...
They seem to have a lot of things going on for the kids, like movie nights and such so hopefully once he gets into that he will be more inclined to associate it with a fun thing and hopefully... HOPEFULLY make some friends... he is an only child and really needs some kid interaction in his life... and well selfishly I am hoping perhaps that will lead to Matt and I finding adults we can associate with and maybe, down the line, trade off some babysitting time???
Believe me I adore Trevor (even when he is being a booger) but its hit me hard that right now Matt and I can not have a 'date' night even if that means just the two of us having a dinner at Applebee's and having uninterrupted adult conversation... we know no one in South Carolina and even I, as the non birth mom, would NEVER EVER just leave my kid with just anyone...
So I will continue to pray and ask God to reveal our new church home to us. I know God is in every church but I think y'all know what I mean when I talk about that 'feeling' of home you get from your church...
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