just when the caterpillar thought that life was over,
it became

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Feeling totally UNinspired!

I don't know whats with me of late.... maybe it is the whole missing my home of Delaware and being back there made me miss it more?? Maybe its just PMS and I'm reassessing a lot of things? I just don't know... I only know i'm not happy where i'm at, mentally, physically, literally, relationship-wise..

OK total side note...as I am typing this I SWEAR I hear seagulls outside my window.. and no I've not done any drugs... least not today ;o)

I had plans to do the Muncie endurathon, sprint, on July 12th... knew I could sign up at Kevin's packet pickup, so I didn't pre-register... plenty of spots left, I just felt so uninspired I didn't sign up... good idea in retrospect, it P O U R E D rain 90% of the day... and as a sprint racer, your entire day was in the deluge.. the 1/2 IM racers... well by the run segement it had stopped raining and sun came out.

This past weekend I was to race Harbor Lights... that I had signed up for... but I was so NOT into racing and needed some girl time... I hung with my friend Erin all weekend in Naperville. This is the first race I've signed up for that I bagged/blew off for reasons other than weather (last yr Lake Zurich was the other, but that was because it too was in the pouring rain).

And of course I've signed up for CDC and was on pace with training and such up until the last couple of weeks when I've not laced up the running shoes since Sat 7/5 and what makes it all worse is I just don't give a fuck right now! I don't know what's wrong with me or how to correct it, most days right now I just want to crawl in a hole and stay there.


Michelle said...

Oh boy. These are the times when you have to just focus on maintaining. Don't worry about training and improving your fitness, don't focus on losing weight, focus on maintaining. Your fire will come back and when it does you don't want to be back behind the START line.

You have to trust it will come back. You have to do what you can to maintain. I know you don't feel like you give a fuck but trust me, you do. You will very much give a fuck if you wake up 3 months from now 20 pounds heavier.

So, approaching this whole thing from a maintenance point of view, what do you need to do to maintain?

Steve Stenzel said...

Umm, seagulls?...

Keep your head up and just keep moving forward!!

IronSnoopy said...

I'm sorry you lost your juju. I always get in a funk when we return home to Arizona, so I understand that.

Don't push anything -- and certainly don't beat yourself up. It happens.

See if you can find something each day to be happy about and focus on that. Doesn't have to be in any way shape or form related to running or tri -- just anything that brings you a moment of joy.

Eventually you'll bounce back. Sometimes you just need a time out. It's OK. :)

I've found if I force the training, I just end up injured anyway.