I don't know whats with me of late.... maybe it is the whole missing my home of Delaware and being back there made me miss it more?? Maybe its just PMS and I'm reassessing a lot of things? I just don't know... I only know i'm not happy where i'm at, mentally, physically, literally, relationship-wise..
OK total side note...as I am typing this I SWEAR I hear seagulls outside my window.. and no I've not done any drugs... least not today ;o)
I had plans to do the Muncie endurathon, sprint, on July 12th... knew I could sign up at Kevin's packet pickup, so I didn't pre-register... plenty of spots left, I just felt so uninspired I didn't sign up... good idea in retrospect, it P O U R E D rain 90% of the day... and as a sprint racer, your entire day was in the deluge.. the 1/2 IM racers... well by the run segement it had stopped raining and sun came out.
This past weekend I was to race Harbor Lights... that I had signed up for... but I was so NOT into racing and needed some girl time... I hung with my friend Erin all weekend in Naperville. This is the first race I've signed up for that I bagged/blew off for reasons other than weather (last yr Lake Zurich was the other, but that was because it too was in the pouring rain).
And of course I've signed up for CDC and was on pace with training and such up until the last couple of weeks when I've not laced up the running shoes since Sat 7/5 and what makes it all worse is I just don't give a fuck right now! I don't know what's wrong with me or how to correct it, most days right now I just want to crawl in a hole and stay there.