Sometimes you just have to do what is right for you.

I know that sounds so darn selfish doesn't it?  and in some ways, well, it is.. but lately my time with the Lord is being infringed upon and I don't like it one bit.  Most especially when I've committed, within myself and out loud, that this time I really need to make a concerted effort to see what He has in store for me... No more half waying God... now that does not mean I will be this perfect person, cause He knows none of us are perfect, yet He loves us just the same...I really have a hard time comprehending that but when I really stop to think about it, well its just overwhelming... but I am getting off on another tangent...

I hate being late... I really do, it bugs me to no end... I realize at times we will all be late, myself included, but if directions tell me it takes 30 minutes to get somewhere, I will allow myself an extra 15 or 30 minutes to get there.  I'd rather be early and sit in my car and read for a few moments (because being to early to things like a guest invite or an interview are rude also as your party may not be ready to receive you yet).

Lately every Sunday is a battle to get to church on time.. and I admit I don't like walking in the second services start.  Rather I like to get there, get my bulletin, find my sit, get settled and wait for worship to begin...I don't really 'know' anyone at church yet but in time I will and I just love walking in and seeing everyone fellowship before services begin, catching up, etc... but as it is now we barely get there before services start, let alone with any time to maybe met others.

Yesterday I had it... I realize for a long time Matt has been a single parent and sometimes as single parents I guess you get lazy in allowing this that or the other to go on... and lets face it Matt isn't too keen on getting up on time to get ready either, heaven help us if we attended early service :o) - but its almost 10:30 and Matt is still putzing around, Trevor has his head buried in Nintendo and still has no shoes and socks on and I'm ready to go... Nicely said to Trevor, buddy its time for shoes and socks we have to leave for church... and.. I get attitude because he does not want to put down the game...

"my dad hasn't told me I need to put my shoes and socks on"

"well Trevor you are 7 yrs old not 7 months old and you should be able to dress yourself and put you own shoes and socks on"

and yes Matt has facilitated this in his child.. enabled him to be a baby if you will...About this time Matt comes round the corner and still its a battle... so needless to say this is NOT how I want to start my Sundays and from here on out I will not.

The next 4 Sundays will have me attending new members classes at our church that start at 9am... and Matt wants to attend also.. I'm thinking goodness we barely make it on time to 10:45 worship....

So I've said here is the deal... I am signed up and WILL attend new members classes.. I will be up and ready and pulling out of the driveway no later than 8:35am.. I would love to have you join me but that means you need to get you up and ready, and then continue to cuddle Trevor and dress him, or get him to do it himself but at 8:35 with or without you guys (and I'd prefer it be with) I am leaving for church... and when new member classes are over and we are back to 10:45 am worship... I am leaving the house by 10:25am - God deserves more than showing up at the last second.  I can't control you and I can't control Trevor but I can do what I need to do for me and MY time with God.

See I really do feel God deserves more than the last second... I mean how many times have you been late to work or to some appointment and you just feel so frazzled when you get there?  I personally do not want to feel frazzled the moment I walk into church, God deserves better and more...

So be it selfish or not, and as much as I'd like us to all go to church together, I have to do this thing for me...