just when the caterpillar thought that life was over,
it became
a BUTTERFLY!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Its takes a special person...

It takes a special person to be a parent or a pet owner... yet considering the background I came from... I am often left to wonder why God allows some people to be either.. pet owners or parents!

you desire a child and then said child comes and for a while they are like this cute new toy, all cute and round, and pink and...

but then something happens and all the sudden that same child you CHOSE to have no longer is important to you... nope its every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes into your life that becomes your focus.. how sick is that?  That child is left to wonder what it is they did to cause you to hate them?  They are left with so many unanswered questions because they can never understand how some man (or woman) can become more to you then they are?

I don't live in some fantasy land that a parent is perfect, no ONE human is perfect... but when you choose to become a parent, you better damn sight be prepared for what that means... sometimes that means YOU have to stop focusing on you and focus on them... I've lived it... the child that only wanted to hear "i love you" but I didn't just want to hear it... I needed and craved it to be shown to me... and it doesn't take much to show a child you love them...

oh sure the child thinks they need to be showered with gifts, but all I really wanted was to know that I mattered more to her than some man that came into her life for a season (and sometimes that season was a week, a month, sometimes more, but not often) - I never got that... everything, everybody and every person was always, ALWAYS more important then me or my brothers.

And now I see this same exact pattern happening around me with others and it pains my heart... What in the world is the matter with you people?  I never denied my mother an adult life, not once, but she sure the heck denied me a kids life by letting me know I was less important to her than others...

Some of you still have time to make amends... your child(ren) are still young and think your the end all to be all... don't let them think otherwise... step up to the adult plate you chose to fill yourself and be a parent... don't let them become adults that tolerate you because they feel they have to out of some sense of obligation.. when truth is you never fulfilled your obligation as a parent...

1 comment:

That corgi :) said...

I'm so sorry your mom treated you like that; I truly think some people have no idea how to parent; they often parent like they were parented because that is the only role model they had (even though it was a terrible role model). parenting is a full-time 24/7 commitment not only for when they are young or before they become an adult, but beyond that as you still worry and am concerned about their well being. there is a balance to be achieved to give quality and quantity time to children, but also to allow time for relationships (preferably with the father of the children that you also hope you are married to). But children need love, unconditional love, and a parent who is there for them more often than not. I think it takes a special person to put their interests behind them for a bit to raise their children into adulthood.

and I do wonder myself why God allows some to parent and others to not be able to have children, but I guess he really does know best and knows what he's doing, although sometimes it makes no sense to me (but I guess that is why I am not God)

betty