Flipping a Switch

no... I have not slacked off on my getting back to me... just slacked off on posting about it... this week has been re-learning a lot of structure... re-learning how to fit it all in... at some point some things just have to go by the wayside...

this week I've wondered, how just a year or so ago, I did it?  but getting back to a routine will take some time, so I just need to DO IT and not stress about it.

I've really had some great moments this week though that have let me know that my 'switch' has flipped...

• I've gotten to the gym every day this week with the exception of today my off day
• I have started waking up again before the alarm goes off at 345 a.m. to be at the gym by 4 a.m.
• I've been to the grocery store  and not purchased crap
• The one day I didn't get to the gym at 4 a.m. I turned down an invite to go eat sushi because I had to get my workout in
• Every muscle in my body is sore... 
• I went to a planned get together but made hostess aware I'd be eating beforehand
• I've broke out the cooler so that I can have my 6 feedings with me at all times, no excuses

• I walked into Walgreens and came out with the batteries I went for and sugar free key lime pie gum NOT a bag of hershey kisses or a cadbury creme egg

I am sure there are other 'moments' I am forgetting and  it has not all been great... trust me it has been very humbling what such a long absence does to one's strength... since 2002 when I first starting lifting, one of my 'benchmarks' one of my goals was the day I could bench press 100 pounds for reps.... it took some time but it happened.... and then I surpassed that and believe my best bench was 135 for reps... so this week, struggling to get out the last few reps with 65lbs on the bar... yeah VERY humbling to say the least...

I will not dwell on what was... I will of course speak of it from time to time as a painful reminder to self, but I won't let it deter me, I won't let it derail me, I won't let it drive me to food to squelch my emotions - nope I WILL let it serve as a reminder that I never want to find myself here again because of wallowing in pity as I have for over a year now...

Every muscle and fiber is sore but its all a good thing.... and bonus... I've got an hour and half massage on tap for tomorrow....

My challenge this time.... outside of re-learning habits.... is to really assess and learn how not to get back to this place again...