I read a lot of forums and yesterday I was reading a great post about finding willpower... it was so what I needed to read at the right moment.
Erin and I had planned a few weeks ago to head to ST Charles IL to see an on line person we chat with/blog we follow compete in her first bodybuilding show... prior she was a figure competitor... I'm feeling pretty fat and dumpy and REALLY just did not want to go..
Plus I was getting this impression(totally wrong on my part) that Erin just kinda wanted to go by herself...
I'm so glad I decided to go... First when I texted Erin I was on my way she texted back 'yeah... I'm so happy your going' - guess I was in my own little funk when I get this erroneous impression she wanted to go alone and totally misread her messages...
And since Erin is moving back to PA on Monday... I'm glad I didn't waste the opportunity to see a friend one more time before she left IL...I know I would have regretted that one for days....
but more than anything I am so glad I went because it made me realize I MISS that look. Believe me the look you have on stage is special, for one day, that is not the LOOK i'm talking about, all though I will compete again...
I'm talking about the look of just being a fit woman, strong cut muscular shoulders, wide back, small waist, thick muscular legs... I saw so many non competitors walking around at that show looking how I use to look and I miss that...
Now I just need to find the motivation to get back to that spot. It 'seemed' so easy before, going from 215 to 135... I wasn't aware of the hard work, the discipline it would take... I just did it. I have not gotten back to 215 but for some odd reason justing trying to get back to the 140's again is proving difficult. I know its just gathering that just do it mind set again... I really wish I knew where it came from before...
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You will get back there again. Something will switch in your head and you'll find yourself back on track.
I go through the same phases and wish I knew what the answer was, but I do know it will come back!
I'm glad you went and had a good time with Erin!
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