A promise is a promise

Gosh my effort seemed so weenie, so wussy... but I know muscle has memory and it will take time but I will be working on this....


I should be careful what I promise....

First, for whatever reason, even though I was dead dog tired, I could not sleep last night to save my soul. I tossed and turned all night, would drift off for 10 or 15 minutes only to awaken for an hour... and this is how my whole night went till about 3:45 am when I finally decided to just get up...I was so tired I truly considered just blowing it off... But for some odd reason I felt guilty... so into the room I go, on with the workout clothes and still in my head I am wondering what are you doing who the hell would know, not like there are secret spies at the gym and right now I belong to three for gosh sakes..

Second... we got our first bit of significant snow fall last night... so here i am in workout clothes, at 4:15 am, out scrapping snow and ice off my damn car... not ONE set of tracks in my apartment complex yet, just mine... Imagine no one was out and about at 4am on the Monday after a holiday weekend?

Third... I had a minor panic attack as I closed my door to the apartment, realizing it was locked and momentarily thinking OMG I just locked myself out of the apartment... but somewhere in my no sleep, I'm tired, I don't wanna go to the gym but I promised mind, I had stuck them in my pocket...whew! So off I go to the YMCA... my membership there is good thru end of December so figured I'd go say good bye to some regulars (of which I have not been one lately) and then last but certainly not least....

Fourth... I get stuck for 10/15 minutes by a damn freight train moving at the speed of a snail on downers...and still I am sitting there at the train gate wondering WHY am I doing this??? Who the hell would know????

But finally I get to the Y, get inside and begin my weenie ass workout.... because I have had ZERO consistancy in the gym in a good couple of months, hell maybe longer, and prior to that I was more in triathlon training mode.... my strength has REALLY tanked....BUT I did it.... because of all the happenings prior to getting there... I was running short on time so I just did supersetting and again my poundages are so weenie, its almost disheartening...

DB Flat Bench Press 3 sets 12 @ 20 supersetted with DB flat flye 3 sets 12 @ 10

Seated Rows 2 sets 12 @ 70, 2 sets 12 @ 80 supersetted with Straight Arm Pulldowns 4 sets 12 @ 50.

Upright row w/PC Bar only 3 sets 12 @ 25(bar weight?) supersetted with DB Side Lat Raise 3 sets 12 @ 10 lbs...

I know muscle has memory and the strength will return quickly IF I keep going on a consistant basis... I KNOW this.... but its still kinda disheartening when you could, within the last year do flyes with 20 and 25 pounds, lat raises with 15 or 20.... DB Press easily 40 pounds or more.... BUT... I made a promise...

and in reality its not like anyone would have EVER know I did or didn't go... and the other reality is what difference would it make if I broke a promise or lied and said I went... well it would have made a difference to me....

I am back where I am because of all the broken promises to myself... that has to end.