just when the caterpillar thought that life was over,
it became
a BUTTERFLY!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

A chance of seasons

When I was in Florida in December and made the life changing decision that this is where I needed to move to... And now it all makes a lot of sense as to why, least to me... my co-workers were concerned "won't you miss the change of seasons"

For those that know me... I am a planner, everything in my life is planned to the Nth degree and I go over and over the plans always wondering....is this the RIGHT decision??? But this decision to move to Florida was a flash decision... I know the exact day, time, and what I was doing... the only thing I didn't know then was the why...it was December 30, 2008, walking my friend Rob's dog, Magnus, around 5pm and like a bolt of lightening, I just said "I need to move here"

I immediately called my brother Noel who lives in Florida (and who I will be a roommate too for a bit) and said I am moving... To where he asked... To Florida I said...He said its about time... Noel is the baby of the family.. he is 37 will be 38 this Christmas (how cool to share Jesus birthday ya know) and while he isn't a Jesus type person, he is my brother and I love him.. even more as I learn its ok he is so different and does not conform to society rules for his life... he marches to his own drummer and maybe, in some small way, I am envious of him...

The call to my middle brother Don (he is 41, will be 42 four days after I turn 44) didn't go as smoothly. I am moving to Florida... long pause.. YOUR WHAT? moving to Florida.. What, when, how did this come up, what will you do, where will you live? See Don knows of the planner in me... I think he is one too and for his big sister to just call him up with no lead in as to who, what, when, where and why I made this decision, only "i am moving to Florida" left him a bit concerned... who are YOU and WHAT have you done with my sister...

But now it all makes sense as to WHY on that day on Dec 30, 2008 at approx 5pm this decision just popped into my head... God needed me to be in Florida it was how, eventually, I would meet Matt.

But I did not know that at the time... rather what was in my head at the time is we already had a cruddy winter in IL, snow, bitter cold, ice, etc. I had always felt this compelling need to be away from Illinois since Michael passed away in Oct 07 (I was running from things in our failing marriage and I did it all wrong and with his passing the guilt of what I did was tremendously weighing on my heart and mind). And truth be known... at one point I was hoping said friend Rob would be more than 'just a friend' - no offense to Rob but thankfully not because I would have missed this opportunity to know Matt... BUT now I realize, or at least this is my opinion, God placed this idea in my head and heart as a way to orchestrate this meeting...

So onto a change in seasons - when I get back to work after Christmas break... I was so sure this was the right thing to do, even though I wasn't sure of all the logistics behind it, job, living arrangement, etc. but nonetheless... I gave my boss a verbal notice in January that my last day would be September 17, 2009... the reason it was so far out is I could NOT get out of my lease in Illinois... funny but now that I THINK about that... I bet the real reason is God needed some more time to get this all in place...He had some things to get situated on Matt's side...

Now as co-workers are getting wind of my move from my telling them or them hearing it.. a lot of them asked "aren't you going to miss the change in seasons?"

Right now my answer is NO... I have always been a summer baby even with the knowledge Florida is hot and sticky and my hair will always be in a ponytail... I have always LOVED summer, spring and fall, too cool for me, winter... forget it that cold just cuts to my bone. And truth is.... if I do start to 'miss' that... I can travel or take vacations to places at/during spring, fall, or winter.

This is how my learning to walk closer to Jesus feels to me... another analogy if you will - this change feels like A change in Seasons... seasons of my life... you know how when those season changes do happen you look forward to whatever 'that' season will bring....

Spring - the new flowers, the awakening from a cold winter, Summer - beach, BBQ, swimming, no school, Fall - warm days, cool nights, the change of the leaves on the trees, caramel apples, apple cider, Winter - snow, Christmas, New Years....

In trying to learn to trust God, become closer to Him... it feels like every day for me is a 'change in seasons' - there seems to always be a little something new I learn or understand or start to accept and it feels like the freshness, the newness we all feel at the start of each new season - but I think the best part is in learning to become closer to Him that I will have this change DAILY not just every few months.

So to all my co-workers that may have been worried about me missing the change of seasons.... don't fret... God's got me covered!

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