just when the caterpillar thought that life was over,
it became
a BUTTERFLY!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Awards, accolades and other stuff

I gotta an award from a fellow blogger.... I've gotta run out and pick up kiddo from early release day so I will have to pick up my cool award and share more on it and me later...

I thank all of you for the wonderful comments on my progress... I did not repost that to do any bragging on myself, because if you knew me, you would know I am not like that at all... I don't see what I did as anything phenomenal or anything that anyone can't do or obtain... I only re-post it from time to time so anyone new to my blog does not think I always looked like the current pictures in my blog on in my header...

truth is, even right now... I don't resemble that... see I am not perfect in this living a lean life thing.. even though I've been doing it since 2002 when I hit 215 on the scale... I am an addict... I have an addictive personality...I've been addicted to drugs, there was a time I drank like a sailor (I don't and didn't consider myself an alcoholic because I did not need it to function and I can have a glass of wine now and not need more), good gosh I smoked pot at one time like it was the grass in my yard... I am not and was not perfect...

but one addiction I've not been able to really grab a hold of and handle for any length of time... FOOD... yes people can be addicted to food... and this is different, to me, in many ways because while I did not need to smoke pot or snort cocaine to live (even though at one time it FELT that way) you DO have to eat food to live...so how do you handle an addiction that, well, you really do need to live...

Now granted I don't need Hershey Kisses, or cookies, or ice cream or whatever... but I can tell you I can eat a whole bag of grapes without batting an eye, I can open a box of cereal and consume it, a loaf of bread can be gone in less than an hour - and while yes in moderation ALL of these are good for you foods... even to much of a good thing (well besides Jesus) can be bad for you... if you consume more calories than you body needs or burns in day to day activity or exercise, even if its a good healthy substance, you will store it as fat...

so I still struggle daily with this one addiction I can't get away from and I am learning or trying to learn how to control....believe me its a daily struggle...

and some may be GASPING.. OMG she did drugs... Yes. yes I did and, at that time, I enjoyed it too... I am not PROUD of it but I am also not ashamed of it... and truth is... if my being so open and honest about myself helps even one person, just ONE person - then I am glad to have shared...

I heard something on Dr.Phil the other day from a guest he had and I've also heard this from Billy Graham... sometimes those things we feel ashamed of or not so proud of are the very things the Lord wants us to use to help others in being brought to Him....so if my admitting I had an issue with drugs at one time but managed to turn my life around helps someone that may happen across this... Then I have given back in my book...

3 comments:

He & Me + 3 said...

Thank you for sharing so much. Congrats on your award. That is so cool! your repost was awesome. I loved reading about how far you have come. It is very encouraging for anyone.

Christina said...

Pah! I am sure most people have experimented with drugs and whatnot.

To tell you the truth: I kind of mistrust people who claim they've never been drunk, never had a cigarette, never tried anything naughty.

Hey! We all need a little bit of something. I hope you'll never forget to enjoy (don't think you will). ;)

Cherylg said...

Hi Kim. Although I smoked in grade 11 & 12 and over came cigarettes when out of High School, I did allot of drugs in the past and drank (a bit) also. I've done, pot, hash, oil, acid and tried cocaine once. Thank GOD that he got ahold of me right after the incident with cocaine as who knows where I would be now. His mercies are new every morning!!! I started turning to God right after that 1 time I did coke. Because I have these experiences in my past, it allows me to relate to people that are struggling with them. I can tell them that we CAN live victorious through Jesus.

I am sorry that you are struggling with food. I also find that food can be very addicting and am praying for God to help me to eat better. I will pray for you too.

May God continue to strengthen you in your stepping stones towards Jesus.

cg