An oldie but a goodie

I actually have two blogs on blogspot... one I don't post to anymore... but this was among one of my first posts... it sort of gives a little background in how I got into bodybuilding in the first place...its not like I was some groupie that admired muscular women... only BBers I ever even knew of were pro's that, well, while the work hard in their sport, do not necessarily 'look' like women... but they still bust butt in the gym... truth is there are some that don't think EYE look like a woman and I an no where near PRO quality - truth is

I LOVE MY MUSCULARITY!  and when I look back at where I started, soft, fat, squishy, very unhappy and very unhealthy... I would not trade what I have now for anything - I realize what I do isn't for everyone and know what... that's perfectly ok - to each his own they say - I have friends from all walks of life..

**********************************************************************************
Originally posted Oct 2005

 Me Jan 2002
215 lbs and struggling
to zip size 18 pants

I've been on this weight loss path before and I guess I've come to realize, it will be a never ending journey for me. One I will always have to be aware of. Because when I 'm not it bites me in the ass..

I never had a weight problem when I was a kid. Of course we were pretty poor so there was not a lot of junk around the house. My mom kept regular soda around but we were not allowed to drink her pepsi. Looking back its not like kool-aid was any better. Hello you added 2 freaking cups of sugar to a powdered substance along with 2 quarts of water. Can you say call the dentist...

My weight has been as high as 215 pounds (Jan2002) and as low as 130 pounds (July 2003) and everywhere in between.

My first realization that I had some issues with food were when I turned 18. I moved out of my mothers house and in with my then boyfriend. His grandparents were always giving him money. And for the first time in my life, junk food was abundant. We smoked pot and ate whatever, whenever we wanted. Course when your smoking pot, the eating is certainly an after effect and its not like you want to eat fruits andveggies either. I have no idea what I weighed, didn't have a scale and didn't care really. But for the first time I was having to buy bigger clothes. I always lived comfortably in a size 9 and I recall having to buy 12's.

From this point the vicious cycle began. I'd lose some weight, gain some back, lose some more. I never exercised so the pounds were always dropped by calorie restriction and the latest fad pill on the market. This yo-yo cycle continued for many years. If I had to guess I'd say from the time I was 20 yrs old till I was 36ish... I struggled with the gain/lose thing...

Finally hitting my all time high in January of 2002 of 215 pounds. I knew it was time to do something. I wasn't about to make any new year resolutions, hell never kept then in the past what would make this any different. This time I was in a size 18 and they were getting tight. I hated ME...

My then husband took some pictures of me for a weight loss challenge I was going to be involved in on a website I belong to called the Leanness Lifestyle (www.leannesslifestyle.com). OMG talk about devastating. How can you look in the mirror every single day, clothed or naked, and not see what I saw looking back at me in those pictures? I was horrified and it still brings tears to my eyes to look at those pictures.

So the challenge started on April 29, 2002, with me at 182. I had lost 33 pounds since Jan.1 already. The challenge ended on July9, 2002, 10 wks later, with me at 157 pounds. I had lost 25 pounds in 10 wks. I didn't starve myself. The leanness lifestyle DOES NOT promote starvation. Rather I had learned healthier eating habits, I ate smaller portions 4-6 times a day, and I exercised, both weight training and cardiovascular workouts, all those things working together, got me there.

After the challenge ended, I lost a bit more, about 7 pounds and then I hovered around the 150 mark for a long time. I continued all the healthier habits I had learned with food and smaller portions. But best of all, I continued with weights and cardio. The more I trained the more muscle I could see under the skin. I wanted more.

Having made many friends at LL, many of us ventured out in November 2002 to Rockford Illinois to watch one of our club members compete in his first amatuer bodybuilding event. We came from everywhere to cheer Tom on, me from Delaware, we came from California, Florida, Wisconsin, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Michigan...There had to be 30+ of us there, all having been nothing but internet friends before that weekend. In case you haven't figured it out, the club at leanness lifestyle is more like a family.

Anyhow, I had never thought of bodybuilding, figured it was something for the elite. Besides what I knew about the sport of bodybuilding was ZERO. What came to my mind when I thought of bodybuilding were freakish looking individuals, especially the women, with muscles bulging from everywhere. I was pleasantly surprised that amatuer bodybuilders look nothing like that at all. The men and women on the stage that day were beautiful works of art and thier bodies were the canvas. I had begun to see muscle development in my own physique and thought WOW would I love to have a body like that. I never really thought of competing myself because I am a very shy individual and to think of getting up on a stage in a posing suit (less than a bikini for all intents and purposes) well that was not something I could ever do.. but I could look like that, have a body like that. From there my quest was on.

I came home from Illinois with renewed spirit and sense of purpose. I had a vision of what I wanted to look like. Strong and muscular, yet still feminine and best of all it WAS possible, even for me. So I set out on this quest. Another challenge was being offered at LL, a more advanced challenge for those with some experience behind them. I was selected as one of the participants.

This challenge began on April 22, 2003 with me at 151 and ended on August 12, 2003 with me at 131 and bodyfat somewhere in the 15% range. I continued once again with clean eating, doing cardio and really bumped up the resistance training. By this time I had found a personal trainer, Mike Farmer. He is awesome. He believed in me when I didn't. He was a GREAT trainer and I miss him dearly (I've since moved to Illinois, he is in Maryland) he pushed me to places I never thought I could go with poundages I never thought possible for a 130ish pound woman. At one point I was squatting (with his spot of course) 175 pounds, 45 more then I weighed. I didn't lose any more weight, I was quite happy with being between 135 and 140 pounds, but I did take my bodyfat down to 12%. I started to think.... hhhmmm maybe I could compete in amatuer bodybuilding.

Well I never realized that particular goal until November 2004. I competed in the same show as my friend Tom had competed in previously in Nov 02, the Muscle Classic in Rockford IL. I placed 5th, course there were only 5 in the women's open class that I competed in, but I didn't look at it like I came in last... Hell no in my mind I came in first. Not meaning my physique was better than the gal that placed 1st, heck no, but figuratively when I think of where I was at 215 lbs to where I came that day, 137 and up on a bodybuilding stage, I was first in my mind!

Well this has gotten pretty long so I will close here for now and try and find some photos, befores and afters to post.