I want more!

its been a long while, but I'm needing an outlet....

 

gosh last post was our Easter 2014 surprise visit to dad...

 

now....

 

Dad is gone...

 

he lost his battle with cancer on October 14, 2015. 

 

I wished for many years to know the truth about him... Finally, shortly after my 47th b-day my mother finally told me the truth. 

 

I am so grateful, thankful, and blessed that he was still alive and that somehow, even many miles apart, we manage to forge a relationship.

 

BUT.... If I have to be honest... I wanted more...

 

More time

 

More memories,

ones to be made and ones made before we met, to be shared

 

More laughs, more tears...

 

MORE...

 

I just wanted more!

 

I know someday, just as God finally answered my prayer to know him,

He will let me know why I couldn't have more...

 

or maybe He won't.

 

I'm not angry at God, but I am hurt that my time with dad was so short.

 

Folks often say we can't feel two conflicting emotions at the same time...

 

I beg to differ!

 

Because truly I am pissed off and grateful at the same time.

 

Selfishly I wanted more, but grateful I got 3 years (well almost)